before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
my poor anus
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
