anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
