i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
