Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize