So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
