All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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