waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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