Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
