i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
