i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
