Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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