All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
