she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just gargled with NyQuil
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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