so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
