"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize