id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
