I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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