Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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