Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
