did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
