Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
