Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
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