Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so that wasnt chicken after all
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
