Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
