Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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