Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
