Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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