Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Randomize
