Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
