Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
