I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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