You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
