Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
