Hey man sorry I got all grabby
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
