New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
