so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
