We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
