i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize