how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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