ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize