He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
