omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
