Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize