i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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