What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
