I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
