I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You can't special order awesome
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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