It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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