I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
