so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
