she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize