yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
