this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
