Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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