plz talk dirty to me
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
