maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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