Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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