i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
