please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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