if you like me you must not know who I am
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
